So i really should be working on a number of things right now. My grades in College are sort of suffering as we speak. My Old Testamant survey homework is due in two days and i have only done a few chapeters. So writing this blog makes no sense to my crazy scheduale, but i feel that this needs to be said.
For the past couple days i have been struggling with a small problem. I feel that it has consumed me and my ways of thinking. It has brought my spirit down, and i was thinking drastically. I tried and i tried to overcome this dumb way of thinking but i just couldnt. The problem was i was just trying to fix the problem on my own. This way of thinking was effecting my friendships/relationships/and skills as a teacher. Being a mel we often think negative about a subject, and we get inside our tiny little head way too much, and it really sucks.
Today i was discipling BK, we were going over his first cell group teaching ever, and still these thoughts were consuming me and it was hard to show BK the love and motivation that he needed to complete his task at hand. Near the end of our discipleship i opened up with my disciple about the problem i was going through. He gave me some insight, and then we went on to close up our nite with some prayer. During my prayer the Lord really gave me some insight. “Why be inside your head and why try to fix the problem on your own?” I came to the realization that these lies and deceptive thoughts are just being cause because i keep dweeling on them. My focus should not be on myself and how I look, but my focus should be on The Lord and how he is able to get us out of the pooper if we just rely on his awesome strength. I couldnt beat the demons inside my head alone, i needed God and some spiritual brothers to help me. I put my problem into Gods hands and he showed me that i needed to focus on him rather than my stupid little problems.
After an awesome time of praying, i felt so relieved and so energized for Him. I was able to beat the deceptive thought through prayer. I then got on basecamp and looked up some blogs. While surfing the web with my skateboard i came across a blog by jeff small z. His latest blog talked about an issue he had with depression. He beat those deceptive thoughts through serious meditation on the word of God. How encourging that blog was, and how ironic it was to come across that blog at the time i did. It was an incredible blog, and it motivated me to write this blog.