What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of being a man, especially on a college campus? That’s simple; you go to parties every Thursday and Saturday night. Get totally wasted and play drinking games until you can’t feel your face anymore. The real man test is if you hook up with a hottie and rock her world. Do a little deposit-withdrawal, and after that night a real man doesn’t even remember the hottie’s name or even how it felt to take a trip on the wild side. Again and again the average college guy will try to re-live that experience hoping that it will somehow fulfill him in some strange way. The real question is, will this lifestyle even work? Will this make him a man a “Real Man?”
Any college campus you find is filled with those types of guys who have the popped collars, gelled hair, really tight shirts, and howl at the moon for more jaeger bombs and more hot chicks. Is that what a real man looks like? I don’t think so! Something is wrong with the picture of getting some action every night, using and abusing women for the only purpose of getting a feel good experience. The secular world sees a problem as well in the song “Forever” by alternative rock band Papa Roach, the lyric really stands out: All these drugs all these women I’m never forgiven… this broken heart of mine.
There is something wrong with that lifestyle, people use uncommitted sex and stimulating drugs to escape from reality and have a feel good experience, but in the end you will still have that broken heart, that hole in your soul of something missing. Let’s break this issue down, let’s really find out why the image of what a real man is, has to be the guy who takes advantage of women left and right.
First and foremost take a look at the world we live in: We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one (1 john 5:19). This world is has filled you with so much deceit and so much destruction: For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world (1 john 2:16). One of the biggest problems that plagues America is the idea of instant gratification. We want to feel good and when do we want it…… NOW! In this world where everything has gone digital, we can get anything with the touch of a button. We want to watch a Guns N Roses music video…. BOOM we got it on youtube.com. We want to order a chipotle burrito not now…. But right now! BOOM we order it and it will be ready for pick up in 15 minutes or less. We want cheap sex or a good pleasurable feeling for a quick ten minutes go find some porn on the internet in less than seconds.
Men and women become consumers of porn younger and younger; Christians are not much better, just because people are a believer in Christ doesn’t mean they don’t get hooked on porn. The effects of porn are addicting because of the erotic toxins in the male brain. What do these effects do, well that’s simple, they damage our ability to think clearly and realistically about ourselves and others, but our ability to actually enjoy sex. When watching porn our thoughts of what sex should be are altered. When you watch porn you keep having reoccurring thoughts of sex that plague your mind.
The worst part is how men now view women. The effects of porn shape the way men view women, it turns them into objects, and they feel awkward because men are checking them out all the time. Sometimes men are unaware of who they are staring at. I fall under this phenomenon, I’ve been caught staring at the ladies while walking around campus, and sometimes I won’t even know it. My buddies that I will be walking with will call me out and ask me if I got a good look? How embarrassing!!!
Porn is so destructive on how we perceive the world around us. We begin to show the image of this fallen world, “I just wanted to get on my laptop and have some fun.” No actually your heart is so far away from God at that point. Even if you’re not sexing it up, but you’re watching porn all the time on your laptop you will still be damaged as a human being for this, but do I have some good news for you…. God is a God that has unlimited power and will transform anyone.
Rom 12:2- but be transformed but the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable and perfect.
Psalm 1:1-3- blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither whatever he does prospers….. his heart attitude, do you want your life to be an example of the word of God and that truth.
Being a college guy I am constantly asked by my co-workers and classmates why I am not taking advantage of the women around me, the same question always comes up, “why aren’t you sexing your girlfriend?” Well that’s simple, it’s because I love her and sex is something that God created for us to enjoy in the context of marriage. As this is this is a gift from God, He wants us to enjoy sex, MAXIMUM SEX, in a committed relationship, in marriage. I wouldn’t know I have never been married im only 20 after all. Love is a commitment, it’s a decision that you make to stay committed and to sacrifice for someone. Sex is expressing that commitment, sex with anyone would just damage you and that gift that you were saving for your future wife or husband will never really be there. Why else do people look forward to their wedding night?
James 5:16- pray for one another so that you will be healed.
I know this is a bit of a sticky blog, but I believe a real man, or a real OUTLAW man is one who treats women with respect. This is radical; this is revolutionary, a real man should want to treat a woman like she has a personality, not like she is an object of some twisted fantasy. It takes a real man to wait for marriage, to have that patience, to lead his woman in the right direction.
ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH?
- To stop looking at porn
- To stop treating your girlfriend like an object
- To start loving women the way God intended us to?????????????????????????