This morning was an exact replica of just another lousy morning…
My alarm went off. I died inside. I pressed snooze… 10 minutes later (it felt like 10 seconds,) it went off again. And again. And again. Never have I ever wanted to wake up.
This sparked a thought that I have been dwelling on for the rest of this morning, and actually most of this month. Why don’t I want to wake up?
It’s something I’ve struggled with for the past couple of months. I’ve tried to counteract it with multiple alarms set, candy waiting for me, running in the morning (HA DIDN’T WORK, BIG SURPRISE), a good song, and even Bible verses posted on the ceiling of my bunk so they’re the first thing I see…
Nothing has worked. I think it’s deeper than the fact that sleep is really awesome (not saying that it isn’t, I don’t want to be spewing heresy, sleep is from the Lord.) The more I think & pray & struggle with it, I think the more I realize that it’s common & it’s sad.
If you’ve ever thrown away a couple of hours on tumblr, you will see the reason why waking up in the morning is so hard for some people (I wouldn’t suggest it, you may, like me, end the session in a puddle of tears, tissues, and self-pity.) Tumblr is a type of a blog site, but has been become so widely popular because it issues a way for angst-filled young adults to spew their angst out to everyone through the quick & easy publishing of text, pics, and gifs. After only a couple of minutes on tumblr, you’re almost guaranteed to see at least 10 pictures/posts saying things like “Why doesn’t he love me?” with a picture of a beautiful girl crying (in black & white, of course.)
This is the United States of America: blinded by greed, the lust for more. Never satisfied. Never happy. Stuck. That’s what life is all about, isn’t it? Having what you want. What if you always want more & more? What if you can’t get what you want? What then happens to life? Always this feeling of self-pity and anxiety… “I need this, I need this, why can’t I have this…” Maybe I’m wrong in thinking that a lot of people feel this way, but I’ve definitely run across more than a few in my day, including myself.
So, why can’t I wake up in the morning? One answer: life isn’t worth it. I don’t have what I want, it’s not what I think life should be, I’m not who I want to be; so, why bother? Selfish, princess, depressed answer.
sad. People are so stuck in more, more, more. When they finally realize they can’t get it/don’t want to work for it, they give up?
Well, I think the Lord has shown me the solution, & of course, it’s nothing the world could have every thought of: GRATITUDE. In truth, people may always want more, but we have everything we need. We may not look & act the way we want to or have the life & friends we want, but we have some. Why not make the most of what we have? Because more often than not, we have so much.
Life doesn’t have to suck. Don’t doubt that. That doesn’t mean it isn’t going to be hard, or we aren’t going to be sad ever. However, it does mean that we should understand that God placed us exactly where he wanted to. This was no mistake, you are exactly who he created you to be. See,
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Ps. 139
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10
“Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.” Ps 100
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Gen 1:27
No where does he say that we are perfect humans, but the Lord put us where we are & made us who we are for a reason. Rather than sitting around & pitying ourselves, maybe we can start acting. How can who I am contribute to God’s plan? Why am I in this position he put me in? How can I use who I am and where I am to glorify God?
When we soak in our new identity & our mission of love, then we can be grateful. Life changes. It’s exciting to start life & see what the Lord has in store for us today. Jump out of bed, because there are people who don’t have this hope & who are lost in their thoughts & their selfishness.
“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence..” 2 Pt 1:3
If you don’t know God, he’s there & he has a plan for you. He wants to love you so much & he has all the love in the universe to give you. No boy, or pair of shoes, or job, or social status will get you this kind of security & confidence. They won’t because it’s deeper than all that, it’s spiritual. It’s a kind of love that gives JOY not just happiness. Life will suck without him. We can’t have this kind of hope alone when we are so sinful & the world is weighing down on us.
“Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ.” Phil 3:8
“Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again–my Savior & my God!” Ps 42:11
“All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions —it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith —and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” Eph 2:3-9
So, again, (maybe I’m just telling myself this) life doesn’t have to suck. We’ve been given so much. The only thing that matters is God. He is rich in love. He’s given us more than enough. And he sent his son down to make up for our flaws. Through having faith in that love, we get hope. & this hope is worth getting up in the morning. It’s worth EVEN SACRIFICING SLEEP! (It’s that great.) & it never, ever ends. Even in the worst of situations, those of which I have not even come close to experiencing.
& here is this: “And hope does not disappoint fo the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Rom 5:5
Why not live for him? He accepts us at our worst & gives us a chance to be our best; in fact he died so we can experience this.
It’s not about us.