First Impressions of Townhall II

Well last Sunday, several Xenos members and I began our training at Townhall II. We are being trained throughout the summer for volunteer work on their crisis helpline. Our training is going to consist of lectures on various topics of crisis, lectures on responding to crises, role plays as callers and listeners, and several sessions of taking contract calls. We are going to receive a total of 80 hours of training which sounds like a lot, but I think we’ll need all the hours we can get in order to help those in crisis. The past three sessions have been very interesting, and the skills we’re learning are quite valuable!

I have learned a great deal already: the importance of listening, validation of feelings, and how to help others to make their own decisions in dealing with their issues. These skills are valuable even when dealing with relationships! It was even interesting reading a handout we received on empathy. It said the greatest display of empathy was sacrificial love! It almost felt like reading one of Paul’s Epistles!

I was really struck by the fact that giving advice was a negative thing in dealing with people in crisis. How would giving advice be a bad thing? I thought at first. I learned that giving advice could only make matters worse, for myself and the person in crisis! Why? Well, there are two possible outcomes. The advice could work, but where does that leave the person? They have become dependent on me for future solutions, they don’t need to solve their own problems when I could do it for them. That sure would make things harder for them to learn how to deal with their own issues, and it would put more pressure on me for them to start to depend on me for solving all their issues! What about the other outcome? The advice fails, so now they’re angry and more frustrated with their issues! Whose to blame for their failure? Well it’s me! If the the advice fails, the person doesn’t have to take responsibility for their actions and only grows worse in their issue! Not to mention, they’ll cease to trust the crisis helpline! This is a crucial skill I hope to take away. It helps gives others the opportunity to start making their own decisions, and it helps them start maturing as a person. If you can’t make your own decisions, how are you going live your life? You have to rely on and take from others! This skill will be a helpful aspect in helping others grow spiritually and mature! Hopefully, it’ll help me to mature spiritually too!

Well, we still got several weeks to go, but I’m very much excited to help out those in real need. I can’t wait to see how I can use these skills in helping me relate and love others more deeply and significantly as well! Praise God!

Where Will the Lord Lead?

Our weekend in Buffalo is gonna be a blast!  What is the Lord up to? Whatever it is, it has something to do with advancing His kingdom into the pagan world, and I’m all for that!

I think our upcoming visit to Buffalo is gonna be a vision of what lies ahead. We’re having a retreat at the University of Buffalo covering “The Beatitudes”, which describes what real “happiness” is all about, which is badly-needed at secular universities. (Nobody can teach about happiness like Jesus can!)

For a while now the Lord has been revealing some open doors for a possible church plant at the University of Buffalo through the Swearingens. They are powerful allies of Xenos and  old friends of the McCallums, and they came to Buffalo, NY to help inner-city kids. They immediately started a Bible study of folks their age, and they want to see more planted.

On New Years we visited the Swearingens at Buffalo, and it was a blast! We did take a few hits in our wallets with vandalized cars and stolen merchandise, but did that dampen these driven college students? HELL NO! After patching our shattered car windows in the pouring rain, we enjoyed great fellowship with the Swearingens as they fed us a hearty, New Year’s Day meal.

Some Buffalo Background

After Buffalo we regrouped at our Winter retreat and gained a powerful vision of how the Lord is working in our ministry by reaching pagans! The church was not designed to form “Holy Huddles” and large institutions. Rather, Jesus said it’s like tiny mustard seeds spreading everywhere, with thousands of small plants! It grows so much different than the Kosmos, which builds powerful institutions that easily replace God’s leadership. Anyway, the winter retreat was a powerful insight of God’s plan for our ministry, and we left pumped and ready to plant new churches in the near future!

We started Spring semester pumped and strengthened, and oh boy, what a powerful and victorious semester it was! We grew to a good 40-50 “Pagan Christians” and split into two home churches, then grew to almost 60 “Pagan Christians”!! We saw so many exciting salvations this semester alone! The Identity Project is enjoying serious victory bringing life to the dead by the Holy Spirit! What a privilege it is to experience such serious joy!

Of course, it hasn’t always been an easy ride dealing with lives emerging from the fallenness and evil that reigns in this world system. Dealing with pagans ain’t easy, but man they are so much more energizing and fun than fundies like myself!!! At the end of the semester, some of our new-found brothers and sisters in Christ went home for the summer in tears! How sweet and joyous it is to see dirty and broken pagans get transformed into open and loving Pagan Christians through our common relationship with Jesus Christ. These peeps are serious about their love for Christ and their love for each other.

I’m so grateful that Lord even put me here! It’s by his grace alone, because no selfish guy like myself could have ever deserved a more loving Body of Christ.

So now we come to Buffalo again on a summer retreat, and see what the Lord has in store for our ministry. What does the Lord have up His sleeve? Check back next week for a blog about what the Lord has revealed!! (Oh, and bring a beer too, because I’ll be 21!!!)

What’s the Big Deal with Jabez?

Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and his mother named him Jabez saying, “Because I bore him with pain.” Now Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, “Oh that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my border, and that Your hand might be with me, and that You would keep me from harm that it may not pain me!” And God granted him what he requested.

-Prayer of Jabez, 1 Chron 4:9-10 NASB

This little prayer, that spontaneously appears in the overwhelming genealogies of 1 Chronicles. It doesn’t have any references. It doesn’t mention who Jabez’s father was so he may not have even been a part of the genealogy. Seems a bit insignificant doesn’t it? I’m sure it has some significance because God granted him his prayer, but there’s not much you can take from the passage personally. Or is there!?

Well, not really. It’s a neat little snippet in the bible. I’m sure Jabez was a sweet dude, but how is that a book about this prayer had such an influence in the Christian community? It’s amazing how a book about this passage was even able to become a #1 bestseller in the New York Times! Bruce Wilkinson’s The Prayer of Jabez sold millions of copies!

This may be old news. My mother, a renowned fundy, couldn’t even remember the significance of the book, yet even today people are swayed by such miniscule passages like little Jabez. At the core, Christians today will so easily seek ways to benefit self!! Jabez’s prayer was in fact about material gain, however, God found favor in his prayer. Why did he? We can’t know for sure because the passage is just there. A random prayer in the middle of a genealogy, a guy who was only mentioned once throughout the bible.

Why do you think Christians today are so appealed by books that promote self benefit? They seek ways to grow spiritually by themselves rather then by building relationships and actually giving a crap about the people in their Bodies of Christ? Why build your house on the sand rather than on the foundation of the rock? The things of this world will pass away, but the things we store up in heaven will not pass away…

Mr. Smith Teaches Us a Lesson About Love

"Love Your Neighbor"

Well, tonight I had the honor of watching a wonderful movie classic, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. A movie I thought at first was too old for my liking. I have an affinity for special effects, high definition, and abstract, but what this movie had behind the black & white, sub-par technology, and mediocre picture quality was something that no movies today have come close to having… Truth and Substance. Mr. Smith’s last stand for liberty and the destruction of the corruption that exists throughout the world brought me to tears of joy. What hit me the most was were his last words to a man he loved his whole life, Senator Joseph Paine, who had turned and stabbed him in the back in the most brutal way, “Love Your Neighbor.” When Mr. Smith fainted on the ground, those words and his stand against the lies before hit Mr. Paine just as much as they hit me. Senator Paine turned around stood up for Mr. Smith after brutally deceiving Congress into impeaching him. He stood up, finally, for truth.

Seeing a man stand up for truth when compromising for the lies and for the world system would have been so much easier, I found that truth, love, and authority are the only things that can prevail against the rulers of this world. This is God’s love. This movie depicted God’s love so beautifully and powerfully because it showed just how powerful love is. It can conquer all. If you haven’t seen this movie, you must. A wonderful example of God’s amazing love and how it can transform peoples’ lives, even if they’ve been molded into kosmos machines…

Confessions of an Infantile

It’s been a while since my last blog. Wish I could say I was too busy doing the Lord’s work and building relationships, but that’d be a lie. For the past year or so, I have been in rebellion with the Lord. I’ve been forsaking my closest friends, and trying to lead my life my own way, the infantile way. I let my bitterness towards the Lord drive my emotions and my decisions, and I have to say that it didn’t get me anywhere.

Anyways, I wanted to apologize to all my dudes who I lived with, Kyle, Tom, Paul, Viking, Scott, and Adam. I apologize for shutting you guys out of my life, for not loving you guys, for not trying to build you guys up with encouragement, and for not being vulnerable and open with you guys. I want to thank you guys so much for showing me love and having the willingness to kick me out of the ministry house when I wouldn’t respond to reason, wasn’t willing to serve, and didn’t want anything to do with others. These past few months living at my parents’ house have been rough, but I realize the Lord was trying to show me that I really needed him leading my life and that without serving others, there was no way I could learn to mature in my relationships. You guys stuck in there with me, encouraging me to come to house meetings, letting me know how much you cared about me, and how important of a role I play in your lives, and I am very grateful for that. Thanks to your guys loving response to my rebellion, the Lord has shown me how unwise and how unable I am to lead a victorious life without him. On a more positive note, the Lord has been showing me how fulfilling and joyful it is to serve others. He’s been showing me how much you guys truly care for me and how blessed I am to have you guys in my life. I can depend on you guys. I can share my burdens with you guys, and I know you guys are more than willing to help me out in any time of need. You guys bring great joy to my life.

I also want to thank my ol’ friend, Keith. Even when I am deeply inbedded in my flesh, you just sift through the bullshit and reveal to me the truth. I’m sorry for taking our relationship for granted this past year and not communicating or opening up with you. You stuck in there with me and were still able to mess with my infantile ways. I am so grateful for the Lord putting you in my life and in our Body of Christ. The Lord has used you to define a life of victorious outlaw love, and He has used you to give us the vision the Lord wanted us to have. My life and the life of countless others have been changed by your love for the Lord and love you’ve shown in your relationships in this Body of Christ. You have been such a blessing.

Well, anyways I’m really excited to see what the Lord has in store for our ministry and to move in with Mike, Justin, and Zak this summer! I’m also psyched to be helping out the old folks at Gardens of Western Reserve, and to be serving them. Does this blog count for the blogosphere contest?

Let’s Eat Some Humble Pie

Eat some humble pie!

Eat some humble pie!

Well, I’m here chilling at the Word Retreat of the Year. We got some really cool high schoolers. Elli, Jordan, Boggs, and even Ryan all got up to talk about how others and the Lord Jesus Christ have been changing their lives! I remember back in the day that these kids were straight-up punks! Mean, lean, prideful mofos! And here they are today, making themselves vulnerable to their friends, and being grateful for the shit their friends had to put up with when they had to battle with their shit, their pride, their sin. There was some serious tear jerkers as well! It’s so beautiful to see these high school punks being so sincere and thankful for the shit they put others through, they’re building some significance! Why the fuck are these guys being so humble! A bigger question, why is being humble such a powerful thing??

Rich began this retreat with a teaching about humbleness, why the heck would a teaching on humbleness even incite any excite from a bunch of high schoolers? If that were me in the day, I’d be like dude! This shit is laaaaaame! You know what, though, it wouldn’t be just high schoolers, the world is lead by punks. Like the Rock, that dude has built a kingdom around himself, he earned his significance through ‘Layin’ the Smack Down’ and pinning his opponent to the ground!

Behold, the People's Elbow!

Behold, the People's Elbow!

That is how the world system works! It’s all about being able to lay the smack down! Being able to beat your opponent to a pulp, then being declared the victor! The Rock is the perfect image of power in the world system. It’s about muscle, badassness, talkin’ smack, and being able to lay the smack down! It’s a system that builds itself up by tearing relationships down! It’s a system that builds autonomy, pride, and selfish ambition. But it doesn’t work! The Rock may be able to sit down in his throne of the Wrestling kingdom, but truthfully, is he really significant? He’s spent his life destroying the lives of others in the ring, and what’s with him at the top? Nothing! He’s on a throne where everyone hates him. The only reason why he’s got fans is because he hasn’t had to lay the smack down on them! He’s built his entire life around destruction, but what has he got to look forward to? He’s nothing but icon to the world, but in real life, he’s got no significance! He’s got no real love relationships! He’s made himself isolated, but it’s not all his fault. It’s how the system works! It’swhat the world promotes! Building a life of autonomy from everyone else, and holding out for yourself!

I saw the movie, The Wrestler, a couple months ago and that did an amazing job of depicting how cruel and evil this world is. It’s about this all-star wrestler (just like the Rock), and he’s grown old, he’s become a thing of the past and his fans have moved on. Where did he end up after he lost his precious wrestling career? He ended up with nothing! He was a old hag, living in a trailer park, without enough money to even pay for his rent! He’s useless, and there’s nothing he can do to gain the significance he once had because truthfully, the significance the world offers is extremely finite and only lasts for a few years or not even that much! It’s like that with everyone. You go to school, get a career, but once you reach your expiration date of usefulness to the system, you’re thrown out! You’re left with nothing! This is the way of the world, but Jesus Christ created something that last forever, love relationships.

Let the Love of the Brethren Continue!

Let the Love of the Brethren Continue!

That’s why it’s so cool to see these guys making themselves humble and vulnerable! They’re building some love relationships! They’re building up relationships that they can take with them for eternity! But they ain’t wimps either! Today, Christianity has become the puss and judgmental stereotype. Christians are running into their little nests. Their churches. And hiding from the real world! And they’re becoming losers! But why? Jesus Christ came and created such havoc and uproar in the Roman and Jewish civilization that all they could was kill him! But even that didn’t stop Him! Jesus Christ was the biggest badass in all of history! But how? All he came with was humbleness, kindness, and love. How does love create such an uproar? Such a havoc that the world could only kill him to try and stop him? It’s because God’s love is all about freedom! When Christ came, he exposed the Jewish leaders for their hypocrisy. He proclaimed himself to be God. He came to set the world free!

Gal 5:1
It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.
NASU

So why go puss? Because Christians today have lost substance. Why did that happen? Because they turn to autonomy! They turned to the system! Christians today build institutions, buildings that cost time, effort, and most of all money. The system is the institution! Christ came to disestablish what the evil one has created! Not create another institution! Jesus came to tear down the isolation, tear down the undercurrents of hate and deception. He came to bring life, joy, and significance! Honestly, how can we have significance if we were just created randomly, or when we die we just end up like a minuscule bug… No, Christ came to rise us up! He came to replace our cold, dead hearts and gives us a tender, loving, caring heart!

Eph 2:4-6
But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,
5 even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ ( by grace you have been saved),
6 and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,
NASU

Christ came to make us alive and place us as authorities in heaven with him! He came to place us in a position of real power. That’s so fucking cool! It is so awesome to know that the God of the universe loves me and all his creation so much that’d be willing to offer us a way to be Kings along side his Son! And it is exciting to be apart of something that goes against everything the world system builds and represent. Praise God! Let’s tear down this bullshit system that does nothing but try to tear down the relationships that matter! Let’s rock this bitch!

Lets Disastablish the Establishment!

Lets Disastablish the Establishment!

So in a nutshell, I am super excited to see what this Word ministry can do. These guys have a heart and a fire to spread the Word and burn down the institutions that work to destroy the Gospel of the Lord. These guys have got some power and significance, and I know the Lord is going to be changing some lives! Let the love of the brethren continue…

Welcome to Zombieland

Welcome to Zombieland

Welcome to Zombieland

Well today has been a sweet day, pulled an all-nighter, slept through my first two classes (oopsy daisy), could barely keep my eyes open in Chem (but didn’t sleep through it), had discipleship with Joel and Tom, studied for my teaching, took a nap, taught  (for the first time in basically a year), saw Zombieland (proud sponsor of twinkies), read Tom’s blog, and now am writing this blog. It’s been very edifying getting under the Lord’s authority and finally teaching his word! I decided I wanted to write a blog because of the insight I got from my rap on suffering and utterly powerful and beautiful it is.

Suffering is a not-so-talked-about topic in Christianity these days. I mean, why would suffering even seem like an enjoyable thing to talk about? In our culture, it’s all about fulfilling your deepest desires. The desire for money, fame, acceptance, power, and even feelings of love through sex, drugs, and alcohol. It’s such a contrast to what God has designed for us! People today are very shallow in their hopes and dreams, striving to be like celebrities with fucked up personal lives. All just to have the fame and popularity. Why strive for something so temporary as that? Well, it’s because we strive to rebel! Rebel against God! We strive to be our own God!

Living the American Dream

Living the American Dream

The American Dream is all about being able to make it for yourself, without help from anyone else. Own a home, get paid well, and having a family that looks happy and nice. Seems like an appealing life to me! It’s all about growing up, getting an education,  starting a career, settling down with a family, growing old in a nice home, and then death. Oh wait, death? That doesn’t sound too appealing at all! That’s the secret to the American Dream, the world system, the Kosmos. Death. We live in a world that’s only temporary. And it’s utter bullshit! Why the fuck do we put up with the fact that everyone has an expiration date? The fact that the people we love and care for will never come back once their gone? This is the way of the world system. Death. And it’s the exact opposite of what God had designed for us!

The truth is, we do live in Zombieland. We live in a world of corpses walking around waiting for their expiration date to transpire. We live in a world that revolves around hate. That’s what it really comes down to! It’s what makes such beautiful things like landscapes, relationships, and the universe seem so sad because we live in a world were we have no real love relationships. Down to the very core, we all are out for ourselves. Ready to blow away anyone who’s inner zombie rises to the surface. It’s so heart breaking! Why do we have to blow away the people we love just because we finally see their inner zombie? The disgusting truth that we’re all so deeply fallen from the image of God? It’s the unnatural feeling of heart break, that reveals the truth of this world system. This is not how the world is supposed to be.

We weren’t designed to be this way. We were meant for so much more. We weren’t meant to destroy the relationships we build up in our life times when times get rough, when our inner-zombies are exposed and take us over. We were meant to have Joy! We were designed to delight in the presence of God, and have an eternal, joyful relationship with him! This is why love is so revolutionary to our culture! It is the opposite of the American Dream! It’s Life. It’s the joy and excitement and having eternal relationships. It’s the joy and excitement of being Kings and Queens with significance. We suffer because we fight for a cause that the world hates the most! It’s the love of the brethren that has the world gnashing at the teeth, but also at its knees.

The greatest part of love is that it has authority over hate! It is a concept that our fallen nature cannot overcome or explain! It can evoke emotions of anger, hate, and jealousy, but even more so it evokes joy, hope, humility, and love! With love as our weapon, the evil one doesn’t stand a chance! How do you fight someone who continues to love you, when all you do is humiliate, abuse, persecute, and hate them? How do you break down someone who continues to sing songs of joy when he’s thrown in jail for spreading the love of Christ? How do you control a society, when it’s people are ready to die for the sake of loving the lost? It can’t be done! The love and grace of Jesus Christ has done nothing but grow over the the past 2000 years that it’s been spreading after countless efforts to put it to death!

It's Time for a Love Revolution

It's Time for a Love Revolution

The concept of love can dismantle the world system from the inside out. It is a revolution, but a revolution that builds people up, establishes love relationships, and emanates Joy and excitment! It disestablishes the institution, and replaces it with the organic Body of Christ. It turns the concept of autonomy and turns it into repentance and reconciliation to God and relationships. Christ came to flip the world upside down, and there’s no better way than establishing an anti-system of love and unorganized Joy and relationships.

It’s time for the revolution of love to take over Kent State. Things will never be the same…

Where is the Love?

“Where Is the Love?” cover

Well it’s like 2:30 AM and i am up late, listening to some soothing tunes. I haven’t gotten out a real personal blog in a while. However, I don’t think this one will be too sweet like my old ones either. Well anyways, I think I want to open up a little…

This past year and almost a half, I have been in rebellion against God. Actually, I’ve been in rebellion for much longer than that, but I think I really started to rebel after I broke up with my past girlfriend. (Not her fault, in fact I think the Lord used it as an opportunity to open up how I really felt about doing things God’s way.) I came to a point in my life where I wanted to stop leading others spiritually. All through high school, I strived to become a leader. Someone who the Lord used greatly in others’ lives. That was my dream, to be like the Apostle Paul or Abraham or Keith. They are such powerful dudes and have brought much glory to God. They were (and are) living the way God had designed all his beloved creation to live, as significant, powerful, love-driven, revolutionaries! Changing the face of the Kosmos in a significant way! Fighting the good fight in victory!

Why then did I turn my back on them? Pride. I began to see a spiralling issue in my life. The fact that I always run from the Lord and the Body of Christ, and I indulge my sinful desires of instant-gratification. I love to hide my issues from others. It makes me feel that I have control over my life. I desire control, that’s it. I never want to surrender to the Lord when it comes to my problems. My entire life I have hid from the Lord by indulging my own methods of self-gratification. I don’t want to hold my thoughts captive to the Lord. I want to hold let my th0ughts ‘roam free’.’ but the truth is. they aren’t  free. My whole life I’ve always have an absence of Joy, or very minimal experiences of Joy throughout my life. I want to experience the Joy of being under grace, through suffering, and through significance. I guess I just wish I wasn’t so infantile and immature… It stinks

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Let the Shun Fun Begin!

Well, Keithy and CD and Icy and Joey are all having their fun talkin bout shunnin! But what’s so scary bout this shunnin stuff anyway? I guess since shunning is part of our normal practice here at xenos let’s do some shunnin already! We’re gonna be havin’ ourselves a shunnin’ contest! Anyone who can shun in the most creative way get’s to shun someone! Whoever has the lamest shun idea get’s shunned by the shun king! It’s summer time, and shun season is in full bloom! Let’s be shunning and bumming people!

“I’ll shun you so hard you’ll won’t know what shunned ya!”

“I’ll shun ur butt!”

A Hardened Heart

Well, I have a hardened heart… I find myself confused and losing sight of what grace and gratitude are. I gotta grow up, but I can’t figure out how. I can’t seem to rely on the lord, and it makes me feel ultra shitty. I keep running away like a little kid to my own vices, instead of standing up and carrying my load. I need help, but I find myself not seeking it. WoW how lame of a blog eh? I guess I just wanted to get something out, at least start from some point of opening up about my feelings and depravity. Because at this point I feel like I’ve lost it. I don’t want to kill myself but I find myself stressed out about nothing and getting all bent outta shape about things that the Lord could easily help me out and relieve me of. I keep turning to my own strength, and i continue to fail. I’m failing at school, failing my relationships, and most of all failing to put my trust in the Lord. I really don’t want to publish this but if I don’t say anything then I can’t say I’m making any effort to repent… So I guess I’ll just start out with this, I am royally fucked up at this point, afraid to rely on the lord, afraid to step up and be a man, and not succeeding in my studies…

I’m sorry for the unlifting blog, guys. But please help me, I need help with school, what should I try to do for ministry? How do I turn to gratitude and humbly seek the Lord? How do I get my fucking shit together and make a plan?